Articles
Leading as Servants
When king Solomon died, his son Rehoboam was set to take the throne of Israel. The people, even under wise Solomon’s rule, had endured the burdens of living in a monarchy (just as God had warned— see 1 Samuel 8:11ff). But now, sensing an opportunity for change, they asked Rehoboam to lighten those burdens (1 Kings 12).
Before answering the people, Rehoboam consulted the older men who had served his father. Their good counsel was this: “If you will be a servant to this people today, and will serve them and grant them their petition…then they will be your servants forever” (verse 7). By using his position to serve the people’s best interests, Rehoboam could win their loyalty and be an effective leader.
But Rehoboam wanted to be a ruler, not a servant! He dismissed the older men’s wisdom and sought the counsel of his younger peers. They told him, Talk tough! Assert your authority! “Thus you shall say…‘My father put a heavy yoke on you, but I will make it heavier. My father beat you with whips, but I will beat you with scorpions’” (verses 10-11). Embracing this advice, Rehoboam declared to the people that he would increase their burden.
The result was disastrous: ten of Israel’s twelve tribes refused to submit to Rehoboam’s rule and withdrew to form a separate nation. In his very first week, the new king had lost most of his kingdom.
Even though God had already foretold this division of the kingdom, here was one immediate reason for the split: Rehoboam refused to be a servant to the people he led.
A person in any position of leadership would be wise not to adopt Rehoboam’s attitude. Consider how this applies to some leadership roles discussed in Scripture.
Elders in the Local Church
Peter warns overseers in the church not to “lord it over” the flock, but to be examples (1 Peter 5:3). A man who accepts this role as one of service will “shepherd” the way God intended. One who instead seeks power and control is bound to do great harm. Like Rehoboam, he may push others to rebellion. Like Rehoboam later in his reign, he may lead others into sin. The authority given to elders in the church is for feeding the souls of the flock, not feeding the ego of the shepherd.
Many of the qualities an overseer must possess are natural safeguards against the mistakes of Rehoboam (see 1 Timothy 3:1-7; Titus 1:6-9). An elder must be temperate—having self-control, clarity of mind, and good judgment. He must be prudent—thoughtful, rational, and serious. He must be gentle—fair, moderate, and reasonable, not harsh, rude, or dismissive. He must be uncontentious—one who “does not go about with a chip on his shoulder” (Wuest). He must not be self-willed—not presumptuous, headstrong, or obstinate; one who gives consideration to others. A man might act like a tyrant to try to compensate for poor decision-making. But godly leaders earn the trust of others through wisdom, discernment, and good character.
Husbands and Fathers
God has given the husband the role of headship in the family (Ephesians 5:22-24). Unfortunately, some men ignore what that role of headship entails, opting instead for Rehoboam’s approach. In the same text, Paul commands the husband to love his wife sacrificially (“just as Christ also loved the church and gave Himself up for her”), to regard her as part of himself (“So husbands ought also to love their own wives as their own bodies. He who loves his own wife loves himself”), and to treat her accordingly (“for no one ever hated his own flesh, but nourishes and cherishes it, just as Christ also does the church”) (verses 25-30). A husband must treat his wife “in an understanding way” and “show her honor” (1 Peter 3:7).
A man who loves his wife the way Christ loves the church makes it easy and joyful for her to subject herself to his leadership. One who is abusive, controlling, and/or manipulative makes her role one of heartache. He sins against her and against God. What’s more, he hurts the Lord’s cause by feeding the world’s misconceptions about God’s plan for the family.
Similarly, God says, “Fathers, do not provoke your children to anger, but bring them up in the discipline and instruction of the Lord” (Ephesians 6:4). “Fathers, do not exasperate your children, so that they will not lose heart” (Colossians 3:18).
Some fathers imitate Rehoboam, asserting an “iron fist” over their children while remaining blind to some of their important needs. A father’s authority and discipline are vital in the family. But without compassion, mercy, and grace, instruction easily becomes mere rule-making, and discipline easily becomes abuse. And the father who leads like Rehoboam often produces similar results: children who eventually rebel in disgust. In particular, the Christian father who does so may see them rebel not only against him, but against God.
Conclusion
Rehoboam let the role of leadership go to his head. He refused to see it as God intended: a role of service for the good of those he led. His self-will and poor judgment so embittered the people that he lost most of them completely. All whom God has placed in positions of leadership face the same danger. Heed the wisdom of Solomon’s advisers: lead as a servant.
